I've Been There

Dads and mums


Babies bring about big changes for new mums and dads.


Not getting enough sleep, more housework and the extra responsibility can cause couples to feel tired and stressed out!


Even if it gets hard or you fight a lot in the beginning, things can always get better and there’s lots of stuff you can do to make it easier on both of you.


Supporting your partner

If you’re in a relationship it’s important to support your partner. This is even more important if your partner has had problems with feeling really down or sad or stressed out in the past. Some ways to do this are:


  • Look out for your partner and watch how they’re going
  • Listen and talk to your partner


Things to watch out for in your partner, if they are: 

  • Sad, teary or down a lot of the time
  • Getting angry, snappy or yelling a lot
  • Worrying heaps
  • Saying things like ‘I want to escape’ or ‘I can’t cope’
  • Drinking or taking drugs more than usual


Listening and talking to your partner

If you think something is not right with your partner, or they’re feeling or doing some of the things above, talk to them. You might say:


  • I’ve noticed you’ve been really sad lately and I wanted to see how you’re going?
  • I’m worried about you; you seem to be drinking a lot more than usual. Is everything okay?
  • I’ve noticed you’ve been really stressed out lately. Is there anything I can do to help?


Your partner might be really happy you’ve asked and might start to talk to you about what’s been going on. But they might also feel angry, awkward, embarrassed or say they’re fine.


Let your partner know that you are there for them if they need.


You might suggest that they get some extra help to deal with the problem.

Read our info about how to ask for help from others. And find out what professional help is out there.