I've Been There

Keeping up with old friends

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Friendships can change when a new baby comes into the picture and there are lots of reasons for why this might happen.

 

Some of these tips might help you stay in touch:

 

  • Remember that your friends probably won’t know any more about babies than you did before you got pregnant, so they might not know what to ask about.

 

  • It’s okay to talk about your baby, but remember to ask them how things are in their lives too.

 

  • Tell your friends that you miss them and want to catch up – but also warn them that you might need to leave early sometimes.

 

  • Negotiate with your mum or partner to get some time out so you can meet your friends at a shopping centre or café every now and then.

 

  • Try to reach out and text your friends if you have a moment – they might not know whether it’s okay to contact you or be worried about waking you or the baby.

 

  • Sometimes people are just waiting for you to ask them to help – think about aunts or uncles or other people in your family who’ve got free time and would probably love a cuddle with your baby!

 

 “Things got easier once I told my friends to give me more notice when they’re inviting me out - I have to plan things now.”

 

I have a small group of friends now but I make sure we meet for a coffee every week or two.”

 

 

Young mums who are still in school might find it easier to stay in touch, because you still spend a lot of time together. But whether or not you’re still in school, you might try all these tips and find they don’t work, and that’s okay.

 

There’s no right or wrong answer, but it’s important to give it a shot and work out what’s best for you. You might also find you prefer making new friends, or talking to other young mums who you can relate to more.